Acapella

I'm feelin' such a vacancy, I don't feel whole (oh, oh)

Wish I can put my finger on it but I don't know what it is

Looked in every place I could see

Try'na to find the missing part of me I can't explain this feeling (feeling)
Feels like I'm on a long journey going in circles

And I ain't even goin' nowhere I'm lost in the middle of nowhere Something is missing Can somebody help me? Something is missing I'm missing a part of me Something is missing Show me what it is Show me what's missing Missing
Ooh ooh ooh ooh Boom, clap! (x4) Clap!
I'm in a dark room in a bad position

I'm lookin' for the light to restore my vision (vision)

Guess I'm walkin' blind, I keep falling down, I can't find my way I can't explain this feeling
Feels like I'm on a long journey going in circles And I ain't even going nowhere I'm lost in the middle of nowhere Something is missing Can somebody help me? Something is missing I'm missing a part of me Something is missing Show me what it is Show me what's missing Missing
Feels like I'm leavin' something behind Can't think straight, something's on my mind

Can't pay attention, 'cause I'm oh so broke Can't find the words, 'cause they all been spoke

The answer's got to be right in my face (oh, oh) What I gotta do to fill this empty space? Ohh
Feels like I'm on a long journey going in circles (circles) And I ain't even goin' nowhere I'm lost in the middle of nowhere Something is missing Can somebody help me? Something is missing I'm missing a part of me Something is missing (oh) Show me what it is Show me what it is
Feels like I'm on a long journey going in circles And I ain't even going nowhere I'm lost in the middle of nowhere Something is missing Can somebody help me? Something is missing I'm missing a part of me Something is missing Show me what it is Show me what's missing
-Brandy, "Acapella"

For no particular reason than I liked the sound of it, this song is on an old cd of mine. Today I found myself replaying it over and over, because the words have spoken to me stronger than before. The part that gets me most is " Feels like I'm on a long journey going in circles, but I aint even going nowhere". That oxymoronic feeling of constantly going through the same pain, frustrations, routines, but haven't actually moved forward. It's interesting to think of what people think when they see me, because it probably doesn't reflect how I really feel at all. The "success" you see isn't the fulfilled potential I have been craving. To be continued...

Don't Do It..Please Don't Do It-10 Social Media Faux Pas

There are hundreds of social networks, all designed to give others insight into your personal or professional life.Over the past couple weeks, on more than one occasion, I have come across posts, statuses, and pictures (Twitter,Facebook, Instagram) that have left me baffled. For the most part, everybody that I am friends with is over the age of 16, so it surprises me when I see certain people making such immature decisions about what to share online. After seeing one photograph, I truly get concerned about the well being of our generation. Are we such online addicts and social media junkies, that we need to share EVERY aspect of our lives, even those that should undeniably remain private?

Whether you have a personal, or professional Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc..there are definitely certain etiquette we should be aware of , and faux pas we should try to avoid!

1. Middle Finger/Middle School Poses-This was barely acceptable in middle school where it originated. So unless your taking photos, killing time before your Friday night skating party, let it go.
2. tYPiN lYk Dis-This shouldn't even need to be explained, but sadly. Posts like this make people question whether you should be enrolled in college or Sylvan.
3. Extreme Profanity-We all are adults, and we all use adult language at some point. Cussing all time though, and doing so publicly is just tasteless and makes you seem ratchet. Remember, most social media is ALL about perception.
4. Topless Pictures-This applies to both males and females. Men you are not exempt. What type of attention are you trying to attract? Most importantly, what are you trying to prove?
5. Men referring to women as b*tches/h*es- Refer to them at such and that's exactly what you will get.
6. Constantly posting about sex or sexually explicit things-It's one thing to mention sex now and then, or to be engaging in an "educated/tasteful" conversation on sexual matters, but to constantly post updates on your libido and/or quotes from a sexual song? No. Again, who are you trying to attract?
7. Social Media Breakdowns-Everybody gets mad, sad, frustrated, and outright livid. Twitter, facebook, instagram..etc are NOT the place to share this. Taking the time to photograph yourself having a meltdown, and or tweet/post all your rantings only makes you look crazy. Sure you'll get the attention you wanted, but not a lick of empathy. Most people are just nosey, judgemental,or capturing screen shots to share with friends :)
8. Tweets specifically about your job or pictures of you doing nothing...on your job. - This is strictly from a professional sense. We are all guilty of being bored at work, and taking that to social media, but pictures of yourself doing nothing and/or tweeting specifics about your job is not the way to go. This is especially true if your page is not private. You'd be surprised how many people get caught up this way.
9. Complaints about the opposite sex- First,Clearly, if you have that many complaints about the opposite sex, you aren't in a happy relationship yourself. That being said, maybe it's time to consider who really is the problem. Second, constantly taking jabs at what's wrong with the opposite sex is only convincing people that maybe what you're looking for...may not be in the opposite sex.
10. Posts bragging about all the things you are "going to do"- Actions speak louder than words. It's that simple. Each post about what you will do only decreases your credibility, as had you done it already, you wouldn't be posting about it.

I love social media! But quite frankly, some of the ignorance I see following my own generation makes me feel so anxious, that I have to go on haitus' just to regain sanity! I'm no post prodigy, but from a PR perspective I am very aware of perception, and how people are coming off. Even if you don't have a professional page, and your just online for fun, be mindful! You always want to present your best self, you never know who is watching you. Realistically, this post probably won't change anything, but I've done my part by bringing it to light! :)

How Different Are You From Kim K.?

Even though the news of Kim Kardashian's split came as a shock to nobody, and has become old news, after watching the season finale of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, I noticed some familiar elements and feelings I wanted to reflect on.

Millions were furious by her decision to end her marriage to Kris Humphries after 72 days, and took it as as such a disrespectful act to marriage, that you would have thought she was breaking off a marriage with the whole country. Even though I don't really have strong feelings either way, after watching her show and listening to what she and her sisters had to say, I began to wonder how different I really was from her.

I'm not sure whether her marriage is fake or not, but assuming that it wasn't staged for money/publicity, it seems as though the only thing she is guilty of is moving too fast and not using her head properly. (and it's not like any of us have EEVVEER been guilty of this).

As many of her family members mentioned, she got so caught up in the fairytale of things, that she took a huge leap of faith, thinking she would get everything she wanted, and it turned out she was wrong. But doesn't she deserve some credit for boldly going after what she felt she wanted?

When thinking about people like myself, young professionals, and our post grad lives, I wonder if we aren't guilty of the same things or feelings. With every new opportunity that comes your way, you have to consider the pros and cons, and whether it is something that you truly feel is meant to be, and will be beneficial to your life. I mean, how much do we really know what we want at this stage in life anyway? We are young, and while we think we know what we want to do, FOREVER, after a couple months we start to re-consider, kind of like Kim. So what do you do?

The truth is, in these times and this economy, you should be grateful for whatever progressive path you are on. However, it's never that simple. We always want more. Which is supposed to be good? Right? So how are we supposed to know when to make the serious committment, or when to jump ship?
Personally, I want to do everything! So it's very frustrating to determine what I want to be doing long term, and commit to it. I am guilty of thinking I have found the perfect career path, and then getting into it and freaking out. After working hard for four years, I don't want to be stuck in a miserable job for the rest of my life. However, I feel like when I seize an opportunity, I should get credit for that ambition, whether it's forever or not.

Suggestions for Overcoming Doubt:

• Start a Job Journal or Internship/Grad School Journal- This could be kept daily, weekly, or even bi-weekly. Include things like: What do you like/dislike? What have you learned? What do you hope to learn? Skills you have developed and hope to continue to develop...plans to advance..? This will allow you to feel more motivated about what you're doing and make a better decision.
• Consider finding a mentor in the field you are in, or somebody in the field you are thinking of moving to. If you are having doubts about your future or career path, talk to somebody who has more experience in where you want to be.
• Talk to Co-Workers or Managment: If you feel yourself struggling in a position talk to your boss. Often times they don't want you to be unhappy, and would like to know better ways to manage you, and keep you around as an employee. Discuss doubts and concerns with them, and even co-workers. They could have been feeling similarly at one point and know how to overcome it.
• Find a hobby/side project- If you are in a new job, or internship, or school and you feel as though you just don't have the luxury of quitting, then search for things to do on the side! There is no point in being miserable, so look for a project on the side that requires some of the skills you wish you could work in. This could include volunteering, joining a grad chapter of your organization, free-lance work, anything! This will make you feel fulfilled, not to mention will increase experience and connections.
• Follow Your Heart- Ultimately, if you are unhappy or unfulfilled, you need to follow your heart. It may not come with the approval or everybody, but where are they when you are sitting somewhere miserable and alone? They are living their lives. Make the smart, and resposible moves into changing your path and take the chance.

Just to be clear, I'm not condoning Kim K. or implying that we are in totally relatably situations.I'm not sure how many people feel similarly, but her tears and emotions were all too familiar to me, and the way I feel sometimes. Give the girl a break, you never know when you may need one.

USE CAUTION: Avoiding These PR & Marketing Scams on Your Job Hunt

As a young professional, particularly in Marketing or PR, we all have those aspirations of working at glamorous agency, putting our newly obtained degrees and skills to good use! While this is very attainable, we just have to be careful not to fall for some of the classic job scams in the process. After submitting hundreds of resumes, it can be easy to want to pounce on the first opportunity that comes along! Beware of this! Below are some tips to keep in mind, so you don't go from thinking a door has been opened, to having one slammed in your face!

There are numerous companies, that will market themselves as a Marketing, Advertising, or PR Firms, when in reality you will likely end up doing door to door sales, for some type of product they are looking to sell. Some are privately owned, but will also fall under the umbrella of a major company that specializes in these type of sales/scams! When job hunting, look out for these words:

1. ENTRY LEVEL POSITION-  These scam companies know that many young professionals, fresh out of college, will be searching for this listing. Therefore, they post it because it makes you feel as though you will get the job you are looking for, with little experience. Even though there are some legitimate companies that will post this, alot most legit businesses won't blatantly advertise the position as entry level. This can be concluded from looking at the job description and experience necessary.

2. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY- Speaking of experience, this is also targeted towards those looking to transition into the PR/Marketing field, or those fresh off campus! It's meant to make you think that you can find this fulfilling job, even though you have no experience.Yes entry level jobs do exist, and they don't require much experience. However, what type of employer do you think would give a call for people without any experience? This would create a stampede of all kinds of people! Most employers in this field are looking for a specific type of person, with certain qualifications, and wouldn't just want anybody to work for them.

3. Completing Profiles- There are numerous databases and websites that will ask you to complete a job profile before you apply for a certain job. Be sure to research the database itself, and be sure that it's credible. Otherwise, you are likely to end up spammed with numerous emails you have no interest in.

4. Multiple Postings- When visiting certain job hunting websites, such as Monster, Indeed, and Career Builder, be sure to look at how many times a  company, particularly PR or Marketing, posts a position. Chances are, if the same "PR Agency" has posted openings for multiple jobs in the same position, it will be something involving door to door sales, or a potential scam. Again, think about it. How often does a credible PR Agency have 7 entry level positions with no experience necessary?

Ways to Avoid These Scams?

• Be sure to research any company that has claimed to be a PR, Marketing, or Advertising Agency. Also check reviews. If people have been scammed, they will let you know!
• If you aren't sure about the position, consult an older professional before submitting resumes or committing to any interview.
• Try to look for jobs under an organization's website. This will add credibility. So for example, if you are interested in PR. Look up PR agencies in the area, and search for postings on their website. If you're dying to work for Target, visit their career website...and so on!
• BEWARE THESE WORDS
• Face to Face Sales-For an entry level position, this could  mean door to door.
• Fortune 500 Companies- This can mean anything. Often times, they mean selling something like a coupon book. These include plenty of Fortune 500 companies. ;)
• Managing Territory- Covering a specific region of homes or businesses to target for sales
• New Customer Acquisition- This is fancy words for finding new people to sell to, which includes knocking on somebody's door asking for their interest in a coupon book.
• Represent Clients with a personalized and direct approach- Face to Face a.k.a. door to door

See where I'm going with this? Again, there are some legitimate postings for jobs that could include this same language, but there are also others that use this language to convince you that the job and company is more official than it actually is! Take notice of all of the context clues.

As a young professional, you are probably looking for a job that will be fulfilling and worth your time, while also helping you grow into your career! You want to avoid things like this that will have you walking outside all day long, for little pay, and most importantly, will probably discourage your outlook on a career! Keep those eyes peeled!

Redefining Your Image

Although writing has always been my passion, I chose a degree in Public Relations. Not only does this encompass writing, but it also involves fostering positive relationships, and promoting a positive and healthy image. I've decided to re-define my blog, and focus it on using the skills and knowledge I have in PR, to advise people on how to be the best they can be! I have realized that my purpose is in motivating others to achieve their goals and be the best, most fulfilled individual they can be, and PR is the perfect career to do that.

I wanted this first post to be about image. This is something that has been weighing heavy on my mind, and I'm noticing that people are focusing their energy on the wrong things, worried about maintaining an image.

While yes, it is very important for you to represent yourself in a presentable and respectable way, your outside image is nothing if it's not based on reality. If you are projecting a personality that isn't true to what's inside, there is no point. All the energy spent on impressing people, and trying to create an idea of who you are, could really be spent improving, so that you won't have to fake greatness.

We live a time where social media has lead people to create a facade of who they are, and what their lives are like. With pictures, statuses, tweets,and comments, we are able to fake beauty, knowledge, and even happiness. If the extent to which you focus on improving your image involves updating a social network profile, then your headed in the wrong direction.

I never claim to be a perfect person, but I always want it to be " what you see is what you get". You may misunderstand me, but it's not because I projected a false image onto you, it's simply because you haven't had the chance to get to know me. Public Relations and image is closely connected, so as a new PR professional,  I just advise people to truly focus on internal progress. Stop trying to impress people who you a. barely know or b. barely like. This progress will make itself known, and the real improvement of your image will show through.

Lastly, I'll just say that there appears to be a huge misunderstanding when it comes to confidence! I say it all the time, confidence is silent. You don't have to tell people how amazing you are, what you have, all the positive traits you exhibit. A confident woman knows her worth, her positive characteristics, and the image that she shares with the world, and therefore doesn't need to speak on them (all the time). An arrogant person is loud and boastful, and feels the need to tell everybody how amazing they are, instead of letting it be shown. Mostly because they aren't really confident that it will exist otherwise. Here is where you need to be careful, because while you are busy trying to convince people of your greatness, they are actually becoming turned off, and more aware of insecurity. We all have insecurity, but don't make yours obviously known by screaming your greatness from the rooftops each and everyday. Let it speak for itself in everything you do!

I'm just your typical young, black, female, upcoming professional! I want to grow and increase both personally and professionally, and I want to help everybody else around me do the same! It's never too late.

The Elevator.

It's always a normal day, a normal situation. I make my way towards the steel doors and wait patiently. Sometimes they are intimidating, other times they seem normal, a part of my daily life. As I walk through the doors I am enclosed in the small box, with nowhere to go. My only option is to trust that I will make it to my destination without harm, and that I will accomplish whatever goal is set for the day. I press the button. As I'm rising to the top, to my desired location, the walls around me begin to violently shake and rumble, and I'm scared. From here, one of two things happens. Either the room slowly starts to turn its way upside down, and I'm faced with the scary realization that I'm going to fall into darkness, into oblivion, to my death. OR the box begins to fall rapidly towards the ground, and I understand that the violent impact will be painful, harmful, and the possible reason for my demise.

The Elevator.

The scenario I have described is one that has made its way into my dreams more and more lately. It wasn't until recently that I realized the reoccurance of the elevator in my dream, and the fact that I keep re-living  this horrible experience. What does it mean?

I am me. The elevator is my life. The ascension of the elevator represents the opportunity that I have, and the fact that I make daily decisions to progess in life, be the best I can be, and ultimately reach success, the top. However, before I can safely get to the top, there's the fall. The fall represents the chaos, instability, and lack of control in my life. As I'm trying to reach the top and the success I feel I can work towards, pressure,chaos and lack of control work against me, and cause me to feel discouraged and defeated, crushed.

I found these particular dreams and interpretations very interesting and applicable. It's funny how the mind works, and even when you work to repress and ignore feelings, they fight to make themselves known.

The interesting thing about the dreams, is that even though I fall, and or even though the elevator tips, I don't die, or usually get hurt. It's a terrifying, near death experience, but I always survive. ...the messages the mind sends.

I just have to wonder how many times will I have to face those steel doors in fear, before I safely reach the top.

~af.

Competition

     I always lived comparitively. My eyes constantly wandering on what the person next to me has, and how they live, instead of focusing on my own life and blessings. It's so easy to become wrapped up in the lives others lead, and forget our own blessings and opportunities. Over time I have made it my goal to stop living this particular way, and in many ways I have been successful. But there is one ironic twist. I continue to live comparitively, only now my competition is myself.
   
  My entire life, I have been told the great things I can do and accomplish. I was always aware of my brains, and the fact that college was an invetiable part of my future. Interestingly, even though I was being encouraged I never really realized how much my spirit was buying into it, almost at a dangerous level. I always crave the next step in my life and my physical body and time can never quite keep up with what my brain forsees, making it almost impossible for me to live in the present.

While this may seem ambitious and exciting to outsiders, it can become quite frustrating to live inside such an "ambitious" mind. I spent years dreaming of post grad life, and all the opportunities I was promised by family, friends, teachers, professsors and mentors. However after the stage was crossed, and the hype died down, I felt cheated. I was left with such high expectations of my life and my future, and was faced with the reality of a life that was eerily similar to before I even left for college.

It's easy to justify not comparing yourself to others, but what about when your biggest envy is you? I can literally see the image of the woman I want to be, the life I want to lead, and the success I want to achieve. However, right now I'm stuck in a phase where all that is, is an image, one that seems unattainable. Everyday I have to fight the urge to jump out of my skin, and into hers. Fight the urge to be angry at everybody who promised me different. Fight the urge to quit, because the right path doesn't feel right at all. The real Ashley and all her potential is trapped inside, and all I can do is wait. and wait. and wait. Because, "your time will come Ashley, you will be successful."

The only comfort, is knowing that I have other women around me who likely feel similiary. So it's not a situation unique to me. I just think that it's important to acknowledge that just because we have made it so far, doesn't mean that it's as easy as people think. It's not as fulfilling as you would imagine, not yet at least.

So on a positive note, I want to dedicate this blog to all my sisters and friends who are feeling similiarly, and waiting to catch up with their creative minds and dreams. You're amazing. :)

af